Saturday, August 17, 2013

My Silver Lining

I have always loved the phrase, "Every cloud has a silver lining".  Rainy, gloomy days have always seemed to have the power to determine my attitude.  If I wake up and darkness still fills my room, I instantly want to go back to sleep.  As I get ready, I search my closet for any form of "stretchy"pants, "comfy" pants, and other various articles of clothing that will ensure that everyone around me knows exactly how I feel about this day according to my attire.  I pour an extra cup of coffee as my back up and head to work/church/school/fill in the blanks ___________.  As I am in my car, I always hopelessly search the sky for any indication of blue sky, sunshine, or a break in the clouds.  I pout when no such thing is revealed.  Although I see the silver linings around the clouds, it's hard for me to allow the prospect of the sun behind the clouds to be anything optimistic or something to look forward to.  If I am honest, most times I *choose* to ignore its presence.  Rain is rain.  It's here, it's not going anywhere, I am doomed to be miserable the rest of this entire day!

Sadly, my spiritual life can take on this vicious cycle as well.  When life throws me figurative rainy days, I choose not to see the silver lining or, the light at the end of the tunnel, if you will.  I pout.  I sulk.  I become rotten and miserable.  

However, the Holy Spirit has convicted my heart and my soul.  My perspective is wrong and it has clouded my vision and stifled my joy.  Is it not God who creates all things?  Is rain from the enemy or does it come from the very hands of God Himself?  

Job 37 answers that question powerfully and beautifully: 
.

He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’
    and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’
So that everyone he has made may know his work,
    he stops all people from their labor.


He loads the clouds with moisture;
    he scatters his lightning through them.
 
At his direction they swirl around
    over the face of the whole earth
    to do whatever he commands them.
 
He brings the clouds to punish people,
    or to water his earth and show his love.


“Listen to this, Job;
    stop and consider God’s wonders.
 
Do you know how God controls the clouds
    and makes his lightning flash?
 
Do you know how the clouds hang poise

    those wonders of him who has perfect knowledge?
 
You who swelter in your clothes
    when the land lies hushed under the south wind, 
can you join him in spreading out the skies,
    hard as a mirror of cast bronze?
See, I tend to forgot that when dark days come my way, it is my Heavenly Father who has allowed them.  He sees a purpose in them.  He sees a plan.  The loss of life, failures in finances, unexpected disasters, unanswered prayers....

These are all "Clouds" that God controls, hang poise, and spreads out.

Okay.  This makes my circumstances easier to understand and comprehend.  This knowledge points me to Him and causes my eyes to look up.  Yet, I am still not satisfied.  My joy is still far from me and the cloud is still hanging over me.  This knowledge only causes me to say "WHY, GOD, WHY?".  Relieve me of this circumstance!  Hear my pleas and prayers and respond!  I know you're faithful, I know you're true but I am trying desperately to be free...to be released of this burden.  What more can I do?  What more do you want from me?  Haven't I done my part?  Haven't I remained faithful?  Haven't I done all of the things to rid my life of this chaos?  Tell me, God.  Tell me!  What do you want from me?!?!

And that is when I go back to the first part of Job 37:

He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’
    and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’
So that everyone he has made may know his work,

    He stops all people from their labor.


When clouds hang over my life, I immediately feel as if it is my duty to get them to leave.  Somehow and someway I know I can make my sunshine return.  So I go looking for jobs; I go looking for new living arrangements; I seek advice and wisdom on the internet; I look over my bank statements obsessively believing that if I keep a constant check on them, somehow I am in control.

It's all me, me, me working, laboring, striving to make my circumstances better.  

BUT JESUS says:

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

Rest.  That thing I CRAVE when a gloomy day rolls around.  That four letter word my heart desires when it's dark and rainy outside.  Rest.

The one thing my flesh RUNS from when my life is covered by a dark and overpowering thunderstorm.

Yet God is there.  He is urging my heart to be still and know that He is God and He is in control. Psalm 46:10

God has placed that storm in my life for reasons He will eventually reveal to me, or perhaps simply for reasons I may never understand. But one thing I know, it is for my good.  He has a plan behind it and a purpose.  His promise reminds us that He will never leave us or forsake us, there will be joy in the mourning, and that  "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12

God wants me to cease trying to fix everything and to rest in the shadow of His wings.  He is working a plan and I am simply getting in the way when I try to take control.  

This weekend I practiced my knew heart perspective.  Rain flooded mine and my husbands first day on vacation and we were driven to spend the day inside.  Instead of seeing this rain as a something to bitter and fight against, we embraced it.  We walked around a mall we'd never been it.  We went out for breakfast and watched the rain fall as we discussed how wonderful our life is.  We took naps.  Good, restful, much needed naps.  We went grocery shopping and spent quality time together.  Then we took more amazing naps!  And when we woke up, guess what happened?  The sun was shining in through the window!!  Bright, beautiful Sunshine.  

Not wanting to waste a minute of it, we raced to the beach and took a slow, enjoyable walk with our faces to the sun and the clouds to our backs.  We praised God for the break in the clouds and soaked up the warmth and light of the sun.  As the drizzle came back down on our way off the beach, I smiled and praised God that every good gift is from Him.  He knew my husband and I simply needed rest and we needed time with each other.  Slow, downtime, to reflect on how good and simple our life really is.

Embracing the rain and not fighting against it, we were able to maintain our joy even in undesirable circumstances.    

We were able to see the silver lining and allow it to cause our hearts to hope.  

God's working a plan in your life.  When you can't see through the darkness, let HIM lead you.  Don't try to find your way out on your own.  His way is the best way and His way promises a sunny tomorrow.  

And when you look up to the clouds and see the silver linings, remember that although you can't see the sun, it is still there hiding behind the cloud and the silver lining...

Indeed, everything is for your benefit, so that grace, extended through more and more people, may cause thanksgiving to increase to God’s glory.
Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.  So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:15-20

Stop striving and find rest in His promises.